One of my favorite exercises to work on with people is writing a gratitude letter—a short note in which you share appreciation for someone and describe, in specific terms, why you are grateful for them. Consistently, people tell me that by taking just five to ten minutes of quiet time to write, they are able to say what they truly want to say, using language that would be much harder to find in an in-person, on-the-spot moment. This simple pause is often transformational.

Relationships are one of the most important—if not the most important—currencies in life. Much of my work centers on helping people clarify the vision, values, and goals they want to move toward, as well as the people they want to stay connected to along the way. At the heart of all of this is connection.

I had the chance to help my wife recently, and the moment reminded me how powerful simple support can be. With the holiday season in full swing, our home fell victim to a lot of boxes. One afternoon, she sent me a text: “The boxes in the front of our house need to be recycled — can you come help?”

I’ve been reflecting lately on what it 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 means to be grounded — especially during seasons of change.

Transitions, even when they’re chosen, tend to stir up uncertainty. Our nervous system starts scanning for danger, our thoughts speed up, and we can easily lose our footing. It’s natural. But it’s also precisely the moment when tools for grounding become most powerful.

A recent client shared that she has never felt more energized, connected to others, and confident in her decision-making now that she has completed one of my well-being programs. I received her feedback with deep gratitude — but what stood out most was her reflection that she has now habitualized the positive psychology practices we worked on together. That moment reminded me of something essential: self-awareness is often the quiet engine behind our ability to thrive.

Showing up as our best selves isn’t just about feeling better personally. When we arrive grounded, regulated, and steady, we become an anchor for others. Our presence alone can create safety, clarity, and connection — leaving a ripple effect that reaches far beyond our own internal state.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how our perspective shapes the way we move through life. When we get caught in our mind’s negativity bias, things can start to feel heavier than they are. We feel stuck, stressed, and disconnected from our strongest self.

I don’t know if it’s the cold weather, shorter days, or simply that reflective time of year, but lately I’ve been thinking a lot about vacationing.

Want more warmth, laughter, and trust in your relationships — and less tension or misunderstanding?

The key is active listening.

When I go to the beach, I notice everything — the warmth of the sun, the texture of the sand, the rhythm of the waves. In those moments, I’m fully tuned in to life.

It’s part of the human experience: our nature is to react to what is happening around us. This can lead to regret over something we said, an overreaction, or speaking without a clear goal—leaving us in a place we never intended.

Have you ever had a day where everything went well—except for one thing you just couldn’t stop thinking about?

That “sticky thought” isn’t a flaw. It’s a well-documented psychological concept called focalism.

In times of challenge or uncertainty, our brain’s default setting—negativity bias—tends to go into overdrive. Cue the self-doubt, the emotional fog, the “what now?” feelings. When life’s waves feel particularly strong, it’s easy to get swept away.

For almost two months, I’ve been handwashing dishes. Our dishwasher broke, and after several failed attempts to fix it, we ordered a new one—only to discover it was damaged just before installation.

Naturally, my first reaction could have been frustration. And that would’ve made sense—our brains are wired with a negativity bias that prioritizes threat and stress over calm and contentment. But instead of spiraling into annoyance, I used a powerful mental tool: cognitive reframing.

I often go for long walks—sometimes alone, sometimes with my family. Although we live in an urban area, we’re lucky to be just a half-mile from a quieter neighborhood with trees and a dedicated nature trail.

Many of us spend our lives working to improve our circumstances—a new job, a bigger house, moving to a new city. These are meaningful pursuits and can contribute to well-being. However, without ongoing, intentional effort to recognize the benefits we're receiving, their impact on our happiness tends to fade—and often, we don’t even realize it.

Our innate bias toward negativity helps us effectively navigate treacherous situations, but it can also hinder our ability to care for ourselves, establish strong relationships, and act resiliently when life throws challenges our way. Think of the negativity bias as an emergency siren—helpful in true emergencies, but disruptive in everyday life.

Think about a time when you were feeling down and a friend simply listened. Or when you shared a laugh over coffee, reconnected with someone you haven’t spoken to in years, or worked with colleagues in perfect sync. These moments remind us just how vital relationships are to our well-being.

You know that moment when stress takes over—you’re overwhelmed, reactive, maybe even saying or doing something you regret later? That’s your brain’s fight-or-flight response. It’s not weakness. It’s your amygdala taking the wheel and your sympathetic nervous system flooding your body with cortisol, one of the body’s primary stress hormones.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the science of kindness—how simple, intentional acts can genuinely shift our mood, our mindset, and the way we connect with others. And among those small acts, smiling might be the most underestimated.