Find Your Flow to Surf The Waves of Life
Our innate bias toward negativity helps us effectively navigate treacherous situations, but it can also hinder our ability to care for ourselves, establish strong relationships, and act resiliently when life throws challenges our way. Think of the negativity bias as an emergency siren—helpful in true emergencies, but disruptive in everyday life.
When we’re constantly tuned in to that “alarm,” it can pull us away from the present moment, limit our growth, and feed into stress or anxiety. But here's the good news: we can actively retrain our minds to shift focus from constant negativity to more positive, growth-oriented experiences. One powerful way to do this is by seeking flow.
Flow is the psychological state where you’re fully immersed in an activity—in the zone. In flow, you lose track of time, outside distractions fade away, and worries or fears about judgment melt. Flow occurs when your skills are fully engaged in overcoming a challenge that is just manageable—not too high (which could lead to frustration) or too low (which may cause boredom).
While flow might sound like something you only experience during a hobby or at work, it’s something we can cultivate in many areas of life—even in small, everyday moments. It can happen while cooking a meal, taking a walk, or engaging in a meaningful conversation. Flow doesn't require a grand passion—it just requires us to bring our full attention and presence to whatever we’re doing. Have you ever found yourself so absorbed in a task that you didn’t notice time passing? That’s flow.
For me, I experience flow when playing guitar and singing—learning new finger-picking progressions, chord arrangements, and song lyrics, then putting them all together. In those moments, time melts away, my stress fades, and my motivation soars. Flow has a unique ability to reduce stress while boosting our sense of accomplishment, which aligns with one of the five key pillars of well-being identified by Martin Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology. When we’re in flow, we’re not just focused on completing a task—we’re focused on meaningful growth.
If we’re feeling down or “meh”—what psychologists call languishing—flow can act as a reset button. It redirects our mind, helping us re-engage with the present moment and find meaningful challenges that tap into our strengths. When we deliberately seek flow, we shift away from the “emergency siren” of negativity bias and move toward experiences that energize and sustain us. Instead of just managing our negative thoughts, we can use flow as a tool to reframe them and grow.
When we make space for flow in our lives, we open the door to deeper fulfillment, creativity, and growth. The key is to engage with the present moment—where true transformation begins.