From Reaction to Response: The Few Seconds that Change Everything

It’s part of the human experience: our nature is to react to what is happening around us. This can lead to regret over something we said, an overreaction, or speaking without a clear goal—leaving us in a place we never intended.

I often remind myself of the saying: “You can’t always say something to make things better, but you can always say something to make things worse.” And our tendency to react is a direct cause of that.

Neurochemically, when we react, we are at the mercy of an amygdala hijack. The sympathetic nervous system takes over. The rational prefrontal cortex is suppressed, while adrenaline and dopamine surge through our system. We are activated, and it becomes difficult to come back down.

But we can.
We have the ability to pause and skillfully respond, even in the most challenging moments.

The first step is developing self-awareness: that is, noticing when you get activated. Once you do, try this: take 10 slow breaths. Silently say “calm” on the in-breath and “ease” on the out-breath. This practice regulates the body, calms the stress response, and restores access to the rational brain—giving you space to choose how you respond.

At the end of the day, the difference between being carried away by reaction and finding clarity through response can be just a few breaths. And that difference has the power to transform your outcomes and your life.