Savoring: A Science-Based Approach to Resilience and Presence
As humans, we are biologically wired with a negativity bias — a natural tendency to focus more on threats than on positive experiences. This bias, which once protected us from life-threatening dangers, often shows up today as fight, flight, or freeze responses — what I often refer to as "activated responses." During times of transition or challenge (which I am personally experiencing right now), this activation can make it harder to be resilient, problem-solve, action-plan, and see possibilities.
The good news is that we are not powerless against this bias. Thanks to the science of neuroplasticity, our brains are capable of change throughout our lives. Research by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a leader in positive psychology, suggests that approximately 50% of our well-being is influenced by genetics, 10% by life circumstances, and 40% by intentional activities — our habits, behaviors, and mindset. This is incredibly empowering — it means that, even with our biological defaults, we have significant agency over our well-being.
One particularly effective and accessible strategy to counter negativity bias is the practice of savoring. Savoring is the intentional act of slowing down to fully notice, appreciate, and absorb positive experiences — what is sometimes called a "delight-noting" practice.
One of my personal savoring practices is sharing something good from my day with my wife — even when it seems small. This not only helps me stay grounded and present but also strengthens our relationship through open communication and shared positivity.
There are many other ways to savor, including:
· Pausing in the moment to notice what you appreciate
· Keeping a journal or using your phone to record positive moments
· Taking a mindful photo (only if it helps you stay present, not distracted by future posting)
· Taking three deep breaths to fully experience the sensations of now
· Closing your eyes briefly to anchor yourself in the moment
· Verbalizing what you are grateful for — either in the moment or shortly after — to yourself, a friend, a partner, or even aloud when alone, to deepen the experience
While our minds are naturally inclined to scan for danger, it is both possible and beneficial to retrain our attention — to notice and rest in the good. Building a savoring practice is not about ignoring challenges, but about balancing our focus, strengthening resilience, and allowing ourselves to be more fully alive in our daily lives.
If you have a savoring practice, I would love to hear what it is and how it supports your well-being. Every moment we choose to savor becomes a building block for a more resilient, present, and flourishing life — something our future selves will surely thank us for.